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Frito-Lay Announces Revolutionary New Color Scheme for Cheetos in Bold Effort to Shed Unseemly Trump Ties
Plano, TX – In a move that will shake the very foundations of the snack food industry, Frito-Lay today announced that it will be abandoning its iconic orange color for Cheetos in favor of a bold new hue: purple.
“We’re thrilled to introduce a new era of Cheetos,” said the company’s CEO, Vince Bellino, in a statement. “The bright, brash orange of our beloved cheese puffs has been forever linked in the public consciousness with the presidential tenure of Donald Trump. And let’s face it, we’re not exactly eager to be associated with that whole thing.”
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the snack food community, Frito-Lay has vowed to phase out the offending orange color over the next 12 months, with the new purple Cheetos hitting store shelves in July.
“We’re going for a look that’s more… sophisticated,” Bellino continued. “More… European. More… not-Trump. And who doesn’t love purple, right? It’s a color of royalty, of sophistication, of nuanced, thoughtful governance. The exact opposite of everything Trump.”
In related news, PepsiCo, the parent company of Frito-Lay, has announced that it will be rebranding its Fritos corn chips as “Fritos-Morte” and repositioning them as a “bold new alternative” to the traditional Fritos brand.
“When we think of orange and Trump, we think of a man who’s all about bombastic, loud, and reckless displays of power,” Bellino said. “And let’s face it, that’s not exactly the kind of vibe we’re going for with our snacks.”
Cheetos fans and industry observers alike are scrambling to process the news, with many wondering what this bold new direction might portend for the company’s future.
“It’s like they’re trying to distance themselves from the very essence of American snack food,” said longtime Cheetos enthusiast and die-hard Trump supporter, Ron Z. “I mean, who needs freedom fries and apple pie when you’ve got… Fritos-Morte?”
Meanwhile, Frito-Lay is ramping up its marketing efforts to promote the new purple Cheetos, with ads featuring glamorous purple-colored models munching on the new snack.
“Come for the purple, stay for the Cheetos,” the company’s new slogan promises.
When asked what would happen to the iconic orange Cheetos packaging, a spokesperson for Frito-Lay declined to comment, citing “ongoing litigation” involving several orange-painted friends of Trump.
Frito-Lay has not announced any plans to rebrand its other snack foods – such as Takis or SunChips – or to phase out their orange packaging. However, insiders close to the company suggest that the writing is on the wall for Fritos itself, which could be rebranded as “Fritos-Morte-Gone” in the near future.
“We’re just trying to do the right thing here,” Bellino said, when asked about the potential implications of this bold new move.
The move has sent shockwaves through the snack food industry, with many calling it a “bold new direction” for Frito-Lay.
Whether or not it’s a smart business move, one thing’s for sure: Cheetos are about to get a whole lot more purple.
