FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
THE BIGGEST, BESTEST MILITARY PARADE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD
Washington D.C. – Today, on my birthday, I, Donald J. Trump, had the greatest military parade the world has ever seen! It was so bigly, so tremendous, so fantastic that even Vladimir Putin’s little parade in Moscow was dwarfed by its sheer magnitude. Believe me, no one, no one, has ever seen anything like it.
As the President of the United States, I spared no expense to ensure that this parade was the most epic display of military might the world has ever witnessed. I called up every single one of our top generals and told them to make it happen – and happen it did!
The tanks, the planes, the ships, the soldiers – it was all there, folks! The best of the best, the greatest of the greatest, the biggest of the biggest. Even the Navy SEALs showed up in all their camouflage glory, showcasing their incredible parachute-jumping skills. It was truly breathtaking.
And let me tell you, no one, NO ONE, was more surprised than Putin himself when he saw our parade on TV. I mean, his parade was cute and all, but ours was so much better! The Putin parade was like a bunch of high school kids marching around in their civvies, whereas our parade was like the entire U.S. military showing off their incredible talents and firepower.
Now, I know what you’re thinking – what about the cost? Well, let me tell you, folks, no expense was spared. I mean, we’re talking millions, maybe even billions, of dollars worth of military hardware and personnel. But trust me, it was worth it. Because when you’re the greatest President this country has ever seen, you have to put on the biggest and best parade the world has ever seen.
And so, I stand before you today, proud and triumphant, knowing that I’ve made America great again. Because when it comes to military parades, no one, NO ONE, is better than me. Believe me.
Signed,
Donald J. Trump
P.S. – Make America Great Again, indeed!
#MAGA #TacoDonIsAFakeNewsLIE #BuildThatWall #MyHandsAreNotTiny